Psychomuse.com

Poetry, 2006

 

CLOUD NINE

42006012311 - ©2006 WLL


I went to work today.

Abnormal shift, I know.

Precious moments, all we had

Before I had to go.


But off and on throughout the day

I felt my thoughts return to you.

There are no windows in my office

But through the walls, the sky was blue.


I left the place at 4pm,

Drove myself to get some crix.

For Lance and Guin were surely hungry

And soon would want their cricket fix.


At the shop, familiar truck

But so caught up in thoughts was I

That as I waited for the crix

Someone caught me by surprise.


I dated him before we met

But it wasn't strained between us yet.

So I said "Hi" and heard his tales

Which all took place since we had failed.


He's married now with lots of pets;

Doing well, his mom, his truck.

Had an accident but otherwise

Sounded like he found some luck.


I showed him Dante, said I'd moved,

I tried to tell him all 'bout you.

But word gets 'round this little place.

My happy heart is known these days.


We idled in our conversation

Then we went our separate ways.

As I left I felt so weird

But glad for all these happy days.


I had prayed he'd find Ms. Right

And then I ran into them tonight!

I once had wished the same for me

And now I'm right where I should be!


If only everyone could be this happy

Maybe hate would all decline.

For if the planet was this fortunate

Like me, they'd be upon Cloud Nine!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


SONGBIRD

42006020241 - ©2006 WLL


The shadowy figure of elocution steps in

Before, but a thought, now on the horizon

He lurks in the alleys among city streets

And hides in the plains of the old, roaming bison


A tree alone upon this plain

She never understood her grace

Always waiting for an angel

To deroot her from this place


The time had come that in her roots

Could be found the water needed

To make her grow and stand up tall

The thought of which, she'd never heeded


And came to pass a day at last

When on her branch a bird alighted

Into the night the pair had chatted

None before him so delighted


The tree, she marvelled, for a time

As the bird kept nestled there

Two hearts of gold, so pure and true

For they both knew they were a pair


It's said that somewhere in a town

There stands a healthy, stronger tree

A happy songbird in her branches

Wait a sec. The tree is me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


BROKEN HOME

42006020611 - ©2006 WLL


I don't care if the rumours are true

I don't care if they're not

I just want us all to get along once again

I'm getting so tired of this repeating plot


Stop all the bickering

Stop the fighting, oh please

Whatever happened to love at first sight

Our family's riddled with an awful disease


Sometimes I want out but I'm always afraid

That whatever I do won't be enough

I'm riddled with guilt I never deserved

I try to remember - I've gotta be tough


But at night when I pray at the side of my bed

I pray and I hope there's really a God

And that He will see what we're all going through

And comfort us all with His staff and His rod


So far all I've got is heartache and pain

And when the tears are no longer falling

I wake up, so cold, upon the dirt floor

And still I can hear the awful name-calling


But I don't care if the rumours are true

And I don't care if they're not

Why can't we all get along once again?

Why are we fighting? I don't know. I forgot.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I LOVE YOU

42006021641 - ©2006 WLL


What is the splash of darkness in there

Hiding within a heart I know cares

Things from our past can always take their toll

But I want you to know that I love your soul

And I love you


If you wake up in the middle of the night

And your hand can't find its way to the light

Just reach for me and I'll hold you so tight

Until morning comes to give back your sight

For I love you


And if you begin to question yourself

Don't hide your heart upon a high shelf

I'll cradle it gently within loving arms

And I'll do my best to prevent it from harm

Because I love you


You know my feelings but please understand

That you hold my heart in the palm of your hand

I've never felt the way I feel now

There was a time I didn't know how

But I love you


And with you by my side we hike the same trail

When we try to jump I know we won't fail

And every sun rise casts a warm yellow hue

Into this room because I love you

I love you


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CELEBRATIONS

42006030721 - ©2006 WLL


I woke up in the early light this morning

Things were on my mind

As usual, you're at the forefront of them all

I found myself so tired

Ruminating over past events

And those of all my future dents

In the world, I fell asleep

Upon the couch, so deep

And in my dreams I saw you there

As Kitty cuddled in my hair

I took my time in waking

For all the dreams that I was making

Scared me into thinking they

Would never come to me some day

And as I watched myself outside

On the porch where I'd once hide

I felt the grass between my toes

Where only God could ever know

That late one evening, into day

I'd finally want to move away

My heart, it ached, for past sunshine

I longed for days when I would dine

Alone with books and things unspoken

Before the days when I was broken

The grass and breezes slipped away

As my eyes opened on today

I found I had no memories here

Of the spring I had last year

And all I've got so far is fall

I lived alone and had it all

And now I wake up in the morning

You are by my side and yawning

The sun still shines into my room

Where my spirit still could loom

And as I see my soft reflection

I can not see the old dejection

I've left behind my former days

But in their place are brighter rays

And soon I know the sun will cast

Its light upon this porch at last

My feet will settle on the ground

Dragonflies will soon abound

Instead of metal I will play

With ponds and rivers every day

Warmth and love, they've come to stay

I cry for what I've lost

And celebrate all that I've gained

Because you've come my way


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


THANKSGIVINGS

42006061911 - ©2006 WLL


Look at my smile and tell me You're glad

I've talked to You my whole life, even when I've been so sad

Not all of my prayers were answered right away

But all of my dreams, they came true anyway


I thank You for the inspiration, I thank You for the soul

You give me so much each and every day as I grow old

I thank You for the strength that keeps me going on

In the face of raw adversity when everybody else would be long gone


I know I've done a lot with me

I know my choices help to make me who I am

But without this spirit that You gave me, I'd be nothing more

Than a body; Your love's within my very core


My truth is in my eyes, don't disregard it so easily

Making myself happy has become my sole priority

'Cause I'm the only person who will ever be

With me my whole life, yep, me, and only me


Who else in this world will care for me

The way I only can?

How could I ever love another

If I couldn't love the person that I am?


I couldn't, that's what I've found

With all the patience I could muster, truth abounds

I love with all my heart, now that I know my heart is there

And somewhere in my life I found that I can care


So deep in love am I, with myself and You and Dale

And now I know for sure that I could never fail

You, sure I still forget at times and then I am afraid

But all I have to do is see the love You made


And I'm all right, in the night, when I look out at the sky

At the stars, and at Mars, the warring part of my life

Every now and then I look into his face and see

The other half of me


I know I've done a lot with me

I know my choices help to make me who I am

But without this spirit that You gave me, I'd be nothing more

Than a body; Your love's within my very core


My truth is in my eyes, don't disregard it so easily

Making myself happy has become my sole priority

'Cause I'm the only person who will ever be

With me my whole life, yep, me, and only me


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


EMPTY MIRRORS

42006071121 - ©2006 WLL


Smudgy glass that separates

The outside world from your very own

Looking through the rosy colours

Can't believe the way you've grown


At times your world is still a blur

At times your life seems to concur

With all your dreams and still you are

Lost within your eyes afar


What does it take to please your mind?

What braille will cease your being blind?

Can any music reach your soul?

Can any Saviour make you whole?


You hear my voice, you recognize

The truth that speaks within my eyes

But every time, you have to gasp

Even though you're in my grasp


Fear me not, O child of my heart

I want you to know we're never apart

I hold you softly in the breeze

You've nought to fear within these trees


I stroke your hair and hold you tight

I'll be with you when you say goodnight

I love you like you were my own

I won't treat you like a drone


Smudgy mirrors, I can see you

Can you see me in the glass?

I'm looking deep, will you forsake

The one who found you long at last?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MR. ANAL

42006072421 - ©2006 WLL


They say people hate

What they know deep inside

Is a part of who they are

Yeah, you know people lie


There is this guy I know

Mr. Anal is his name

He struggles to be right

Perfection is his game


But when the music comes

The words just pass him by

I told him I could help

I tell him I can try


His ears are closed to all my words

He doesn't hear the things I say

If only he would tell me why

He won't invite me in to play


For years I struggled

Music beat against the bars

Trying hard to be let out

But it's from Venus, I'm from Mars


So I've written words without a soul

Without the wings to bear them home

I hated Rap for many years

'twould never be what I condone


I guess it's true what people say

'Cause rap is all I'll ever be

But I declare, without the sound

My words will never find they're free



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The following six "poems" are

actually "lyrics." They are my

attempts to mimick styles of six

songs. A musical coworker had

challenged me with this project

as a sort of test to see if I may

be capable of writing lyrics for

him. I probably failed miserably,

but considering what I had to work

with, I don't think I did half bad.

I'll find out later today.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 01: INK BLOT

42006072521 - ©2006 WLL


My writing - it's like a highrise rising

I'm an architect

Building and conceiving


My writing - you don't have to like it

But move aside roadkill

I'm my own stamp of approval


I don't care

No I don't care if you want prose

Keep your nose up in the air

You don't care

You can't see the simple truth

'Cause it's hidden in the drummer's snare


Hold up your ink blot

In front of all the multitudes

To decipher what they're worth

Hold up your ink blot

Tell the millions what they think

And how you know they're wrong


Einstein was considered stupid

No one believed his genius

He tried to help, we wouldn't listen


You think that I'm a moron

You won't believe the words I say

When I say what's not hearsay


Scuttlebutts, hang them on the clothesline

Don't give me your elucidation

I can talk you off the stage


Hold up your ink blot

In front of all the multitudes

To decipher what they're worth

Hold up your ink blot

Tell the millions what they think

And how you know they're wrong

Hold up your ink blot

Tell yourself that you are stable

Even as your mirror cracks


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 02: MANIC FUROR

42006072522 - ©2006 WLL


Too young these words cannot be born

They sting

A thousand itchy papercuts

As they start to germinate


Just take the gloomy words I saw

Flash your silver tongue at me

Correct my failures at concordance

Don't shut me down another day

Tell me why you're so refined

And what you think is of importance


Some thoughts are like a thousand laughs

Heaving, heavy in your chest

They gnaw the air you need to breathe

Vacuums full of teeth


Fingers bleed silver in desperation

Liquid poison mercury

Seeping into unforgiving keys

Killing capacitations


Screaming manic furor

My mind is hemorrhaging

Operate on me


Leave me hanging on this tree

Just let me be

Searing off my flesh in vain

All my words they fall like rain

Drops of oil lend some grease

This hot metal under me gives lease

Sign right here on the dotted line

Fishing here will earn a fine

Earn your keep


Leave me dying on this tree

Kick me curse me let me be

All my words they fall like rain

Drop some acid in my vein

Pegmatite is hard to break

These prison walls you make

My cookies crumble in the net

My wages spent and I forget

The plot you seek


If it's a lie you want

Go downtown to the corner store

The girls all know you



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 03: FROST YER ASS

42006072631 - ©2006 WLL


Aight gather round don't sit too near

We gonna sit and drink some beer

Bring on the whiskey keg and gin

Lessee what kinda state we're in

When the morning paper comes

Talkin' shit 'bout homeless bums

We'll frost their keisters in the snow

Set their assets all aglow


Give us drugs and give us more

Let us be what we abhor

It won't matter anyway

When the night turns into day

They'll surround us all with guns

Don't understand our having fun

But we'll frost their keisters in the snow

Set their assets all aglow


Assets, assets, give us all

All your assets


Set them down upon the ground

Watch the lightning all around

Zaps your ass, your hair turns white

Who could imagine it would happen overnight

Cheers to Casper as he floats

In the pastures with the goats

We'll frost the keister of the ghost

Ectoplasm served burnt toast


Give me yours I'll give you mine

We can whip 'em all the time

White potatoes mashed to cream

Will we wake up

Or keep on dreaming, no

One night we'll wake up to the sound

Of how the Taters do abound

Cook them mash them zap them eat

We're elite


Assets, assets, give us all

All your assets


Diamond in the rough

Sparkling in the bedrock

When it becomes polished

We leave our assets behind


Assets, assets, give us all your

Can't take 'em with us


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 04: BLOWFISH

42006072632 - ©2006 WLL


So you think you know me but you don’t

You say you’ll help but then you won’t

Nowhere to go and I’m losing my mind


I’m gonna blow up atcha

I’m gonna blow up atcha

I’m gonna blow up atcha


You don’t know why I’m angry

You don’t know why I hate

You’re useless in my storm

Don’t want your scorn


I’ll kick your ass out with a smile on my lips

You think you’re all that but you can’t please this bitch

So you got it all but you’re only screaming


Take your lines and a

Take your lines and a

Take your lines and a


Go fishin’ or whatever


Take your lies and whatever


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 05: COTTON CANDY

42006072633 - ©2006 WLL


You say you don’t know how to talk

Betcha you can’t even walk

Get over here and let me see

You smell like goo


Tied up and chained

Screaming my name in the night

Run your nails across my back

Etching sayings in my crack


Cotton candy to my eyes

Cotton candy in disguise

Cotton candy I digress

Tie me down and let me serve


You’re so bad with all your whips

I hate all your evil toys

Your face is lit up by the moon

It looks all blue


Tied up and chained

Screaming your name in the night

Run my nails across your back

Etching sayings in your crack


Cotton candy to my eyes

Cotton candy in disguise

Cotton candy you digress

Untie me now it’s me you serve


Still I’m chained and hating you

You snicker laugh throw out the key

Watch in horror as you leave

Untie me now it’s me you serve

It’s you I serve

I cannot serve


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Lyric 06: BLACK HOLE

42006072634 - ©2006 WLL


Leave me now


Turn away

You’re a fright

To behold in the night


Dowse your head

Admit defeat

On the tip of my cleat


You should know you’re no looker

You couldn’t be a hooker

Stand on the corner of the road


Smack you like the bitch you are

Howling at the moon and stars

Don’t you know my mind was churning


Leave me now


It permeates

Your disease

See a doctor and leave


Toss me now before you can’t

Black holes never let go


Don’t want to absorb you

You don’t know what I can do

Thirteen is my favourite number and you’re unlucky


Hold me in your arms, no

Turning metal into jello

Just make sure you never stir it


The plot thickens


Oh take me please and let me see

Don’t you see what you’re doing to me


You see I’m thirteen

You refill my canteen


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


HOLDING BELLS

42006080451 - ©2006 WLL


Sitting here with Bell

Surrounded by the love

Of a million fuzzy things

Life can be so swell


I sip on my iced tea

Reminisce about the day

When we met and I

Know this is where I'll be


No one can take my heart

Away from me again

It isn't mine to give

It's only been my friend


Oh I can be so happy

Even when I'm sad

I like to play with Snappy

Even when he's bad


And when I wake at night

And see you in your sleep

With Snappy on your arm

I'm glad I made the Leap


With Love surrounding me

Holding onto Bell

Never let this go

Oh life can be too swell


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DISGRACE

42006080452 ©2006 WLL


Never figured out

What I should have said

Anger held it back

Sadness took its life


Woke up every morning

Wondering what to do

Wondering where I'd go

If I should even live


Things work out at once

Not always in the end

Facing this beginning

With moonlight on my face

Stars went in one night

My own light radiates

Won't drag myself again

Through the puddles of disgrace


Never figured out

What I should have done

Ego held it back

Survival took its life


Will you be there now

Or will you walk away

Wouldn't blame you, no

I wouldn't blame you, no


Things work out at once

Not always in the end

Facing this beginning

With moonlight on my face

Stars went in one night

My own light radiates

Won't drag myself again

Through the puddles of disgrace


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


DISGRACIAL

42006080453 - ©2006 WLL


Shades of grey

Angst bestowed

Flee your country

Hate abounds, it grew


Discoloured concepts

Democracy's death

Patriotic malcontent

March us to our doom


Sons in disgrace

Mighty with their quills

Racial discontinuity

Bragging rights ensue


Cowards like the KKK

Sheets of parchment hide the lies

Write some more amendments

The ink won't ever dry


Wipe away the writing block

Burn it in the fire

No one had the heart to stop it

Even if they knew the lie


Sons in disgrace

Mighty with their quills

Racial discontinuity

How many have to die


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


IN YOUR EYES

42006081851 - ©2006 WLL


I've never been the elegant

And lovely lady momma wanted

But when I'm with you

I'm a lady in your eyes


Cute and smart they've called me

And all my life I have been haunted

But when I'm with you

I'm a lady in your eyes


Oh you don't know just what I see

when I look into your eyes

The innocence, the sparkling tears

I'm a lady in your eyes


When you sleep I see you dreaming

At times a smile on your lips

No, I'm wearing no disguise

I'm a lady in your eyes


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


UNITED

42006082111 - ©2006 WLL


The haze had lifted from the hills

We turned to see the distant mills

Our feet kept running, running fast

Eager for our future past


Chains that bound us pried apart

From murky dismal jaded hearts

Overhead the sun has risen

Forge ahead, our holy schism


Whenever will we be united

Without the pounding in our heads?

Whenever will we be united

Without the screaming in our beds?


The grassy knoll just up ahead

Is where we think we're being led

Our feet keep running, running fast

Eager for our future past


The chains that bound us broke away

Stronger chains are here to stay

Overhead the sun has risen

Plunder on, our holy schism


Has been united once again


Has been united once again


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


KASHMIR

42006092511 - ©2006 WLL


power power how I love the power

the power of music

kashmir softness of the Bond

heavy strings are in the air

I heed the call

follow me, I follow them

walking cellos made of glass

impose their beauty on the sky

violins so delicate

fleeting in and out of highs

electric impulse woven in

hearts are beating as I grin

hold it, hold it, bridge again

I love you like I did then

Kashmir ends another reign

I think I'll play it all again


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


INFLUENCE

42006092951 - ©2006 WLL


Your bad mood lingers

As I begin to understand

I place you high above me

When you're human like I am


I'm thrown off balance, not lost

As you try not to condescend

We're not perfect, yet at times

The home is hard to comprehend


If only I could help, I would

But your battles are your own

I love you for the struggles

I love the ways you've grown


I love the way your face lights up

When I walk in the room

I love the way you're so concerned

When I fall and ponder doom


And when you're sad like this at times

I don't know what to do

Twinside rivers flow with tears

And all I know is I love you


I fight against the blame I place

Upon the shoulders I lay bare

As you do; I'm not as strong

Sometimes as much as I appear


As much as I have learned I know

As wise as I may have become

I cannot fix so many things

Yet won't pretend that I am numb


Your eyes tell me when things are bad

You don't have to tell me why

You don't even know your demons

Any more than I know mine


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CANVAS

42006100541 ©2006 WLL


A splash of colour

Lit up by the morning sky

Painted on a canvas, blue

There's not an artist

Quite like You


I drove for miles

Never stopped when mourning, I

Painted words of different hues

One of so many

With the blues


It takes a courage

To learn new things like loving. I

Poured my heart out with my truth

This was the challenge

Of my youth


Now here before me

Melodies arise, and I

Know my love is overdue

It spills out, splashing

Lit by You


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


THIS TIME OF YEAR

2006121221 - ©2006 WLL


This time of year, the morning's gray

Yet sunshine fills up every corner

The past few years have seen a change

The girl is gone and I don't mourn her


Remember when we met each other

I was me and you were you

Now you're still you and I'm still me

But we are both are a couple, too


In an instant, clarity

It's you I want forevermore

To be there in the setting sun

To see you rise up in the morning

Waking up without a sound

Even though I always hear

The way you tiptoe all around


The alarm goes off though it's still dark

You get dressed to go to work

Silent creeping, creaky door

Beneath the covers I still lurk


Just last night we fell asleep

We snuggled up so perfectly

Now we start another day

But all day long it's you I see


In an instant, clarity

It's you I want forevermore

To be there in the setting sun

To see you rise up in the morning

Waking up without a sound

Even though I always hear

The way you tiptoe all around


I feel you with me every minute

Every second, every day

Whether working or at play

Nothing steals my joy away


And tonight we'll fall asleep

We'll snuggle up so perfectly

Yeah, tonight, we'll fall asleep

We'll snuggle up so perfectly


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life became a blur in 2006.  I continued dating and living with Dale, the guy I’d met through Yahoo! personals.  My attitude and perception of work continued to improve greatly.  I was half-dragged into new projects that I became OK with doing, and worked hard on, while continuing to not truly care whether it worked out there or not.


I ran into a former heartbreak and felt a rekindling of anger, but it didn’t last within the happiness I’d stumbled into and accepted.  Dale was as close to perfect as I could ever ask for, and I knew I’d say yes if he asked me to marry him.


He did just that in October, and further excitement awaited me in the form of an iMac.  I finally understood two things.  First, Macs are far geekier than the fuzz in my navel, no matter what pc dweebs think.  Second, there is such a thing as true love.


2006 rocked.