A PLEASANT REMINDER

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Sometimes we get tired

Or we get really busy

Or we're in a bad mood

Or we're sneezy and dizzy

But whether in silence

Or laughter and fun

Through sickness and health

'Til our days may be one

I'll try to remember

Every moment with you

Each loving embrace

And all the things that you do

'Cause whenever my world

Is crazy and scared

I look at your face

And see myself there

I'm scattered in moisture

From the love in your eyes

A pleasant reminder

Of an awesome surprise:

You.

Happy Valentine's Day, and every day.

I love you, milove.

:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAIL LIGHTS

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I saw you off on your way to work

I said I love you

You smiled and left, an echo of daylight

Your car sped off, its tail lights flashing

You said, "I love you, too."

Tonight I packed a few more boxes

I made some food and checked some mail

The cats are wondering where you are

I reach down for Sinkie's tail

Your flight has landed

I checked online, I'm sure you're fine

Funny how I'm so independent

And when you're gone I'm so unrested

Eager to hear you on the line

It's my mind - it spins and turns

I tell myself how our loving will last

Don't worry, I say. Nothing's wrong, he's okay.

But how do you stop an ache from the past?

I saw you off on your way to work

I said I love you

You smiled and left, an echo of daylight

Your car sped off, its tail lights flashing

You said, "I love you, too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FALLING RAIN

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for Kathleen

who lost her Mum

Every day a challenge, yet so easy

In solitude, I feel You near

You sing Your love into my heart

Now and then, like now, I hear

I'm sorry for the things I do

When my intentions are less than good

And for things I never say

Even though they're things I should

I used to talk to You a lot

You've given me Love I can't describe

Sometimes it's light and sometimes dark

For when I'm happy, I can't transcribe

And when it's dark I feel the pain

How my pen still loves the rain

A two-edged sword for me, You know

But I know the Blessings given me

A haunted past is one of them

Because of it, my eyes can see

I used to talk to You a lot

You've given me Love I can't describe

Sometimes it's light, and sometimes dark

For when I'm happy, I can't transcribe

And when it's dark and I feel the pain

I thank You, God, for falling rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUILL AND INK

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Sleep overcomes my day

My mind asunder with the light

In the evening, restlessness

Pushed aside with fading night

I am sometimes

The only page within this book

Thoughts unwritten, lonely still

Despite the ways they've bent my will

Turbid drifts of verbiage

Never brought to life in voice

Forever lost to my own mind

Forever bound without a choice

And quill and ink don't capture me

Electrons cannot take this soul

No one else but God can see

All the things that make me whole

Yet on this page, the liquid flows

Desperate so to fill this space

Saving thoughts like hording rats

Memories I won't erase

The wear and tear on every nib

Doesn't mean it ever ends

A new one fitted, brand-new ink

For every thought so quickly blends

But quill and ink don't capture me

Electrons cannot take this soul

No one else but God can see

All the things that make me whole

And when the darkness falls around us

And silence welcomes quiet tears

My pillow harbors love and sorrow

For all my joy and dismal years

No, quill and ink won't capture me

Not a part of me is whole

Without this fleeting haze of wonder

There is no word defining soul

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LANCELOT

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Been over a week and still I vegetate

I want to mourn but ignore these feelings

So much joy, I cannot cry

Still inside I know you've died

I don't feel guilty, I just feel lost

Memories, they permeate

I see your eyes, they blink at me

I'd always wonder what you see

And now decay lives in your cage

You've become the crickets' prey

They ate your eyes, you cannot see

How I miss you watching me

I've been misting

Somehow thinking maybe

I'd look in on you

And you'd be green again

But your colour's slowly fading

Just a remnant of what you were

I cannot cry, the tears are falling

Streaming rivers in my heart

Not accepting we're apart

And now decay lives in your cage

You've become the cricket's prey

They ate your eyes but can't you see

How I miss you watching me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOODSMOKE SCRIBE

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Woodsmoke scribe

Burning images in a box

Eternal 'til a bigger flame

Consumes the artwork of the game

Nostrils flare with incense

The smoke curls 'round his face, intense

Shining eyes, so dark with concentration

Giving ever stroke such deliberation

The words won't come

Unbidden magery

Causes him intense surprise

So for now this will suffice

Woodsmoke scribe

Burning thoughts within a box

Eternal 'til a bigger flame

Consumes the artwork of the game

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A MUSE LAID BARE

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My muse has left me

I'm trapped again within this cage

A reminder

Of all I have within my hand

When I'm guided through this sand

It's flowing through my head, a sieve

How many grains must a poet give

Before the larger stones lay bare

Exposed before the daylight's care

The feelings of a thousand years

Come on back now

Don't leave me here alone

I need your verbiage

To express the sunsets in the sky

The wisdom that I must live by

It's flowing through my head, a sieve

How much must this poet give

Befor the deeper thoughts lay bare

Exposed before the daylight's care

The feelings of a thousand fears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UNDERSTAND

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I feel the quaking of the floor

The vibrations of your soul

You say hi with sparkling eyes

I kiss your lips, you seem surprised

Understand

I see the sunlight shining through the clouds

The pen that writes despite the shrouds

The water flowing through the hose

You're not the only one who knows

The exponential love we've got

Even when the rain may flow

I hide away inside myself

But I see the way you look at me

Your heart may yearn to make me glad

This doesn't mean that things are bad

Understand

That I see the sunlight through the clouds

The words appear despite the shrouds

The water flowing through the hose

You're not the only one who knows

The exponential love we've got

Even when the rain may flow

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOW CAN WE SAY

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Paint me on the canvas

Write me with a dipping pen

Enter through my mind

Tell me if I'm far behind

Nails are clipped

And thrown away

Hair is trimmed

We start our day

Does this really matter?

What's our purpose?

How can we say?

How can we say?

Colour me with crayons

Program me with code

Listen to my bones creak

As I sit here growing old

Teeth sit in a jar

Kept pristine with Polident

Creams and lotions permeate

Tell me where the years went

Did it really matter?

What's our purpose?

How can we say?

How can we say?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OVERBOARD

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Leaving you is like breaking up

With an age-old love affair

I hate you and I love you

I can't live without you

But now I'm moving on

I leave you there to carry on

Forget my presence, don't forget

The legacy my name begets

I look upon the shining faces

I look beyond the tear-stained eyes

I see my friends and family

I seek more than this disguise

My heart is restless with this news

Change is like a dragon hurling fire

It writhes and wriggles in my stomach

Every piece of me devoured

I think this is all a bad dream

With a happy ending

I've done this to myself

Willingly, and with a purpose

I don't regret it

I know it's right

But dammitall

Still I fight

I've gotta learn to just let go

I've gotta learn to just say no

But deep inside I want it all

I can't make up my mind

I can't make up my mind

No one ever understands

This elusive lack of life

I once had the fire, yeah

I want a clean break

A clean break

But I feel bound, determined still

To pick up the pieces you can't

Dale is right about my stress

I simply can't be letting go

Simply can't be letting go

I cry out for what I had

I want it back so goddamned bad

This ache inside, it can't be cured

By the pain I have endured

Life was so much simpler then

I loved the metal on my desk

I didn't care for anyone

I felt alone

But now I'm surrounded by all these people

All these folks who care

And still I feel alone

Sometimes more than I ever felt before

Computers are so cold

It's either on or it is off

There is no gray

Stepping stones

I'm on the stepping stones

No concrete thoughts

All I need is one more thought

And I'll be overboard

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We bought our house in 2008, and then my lizard, Lancelot, died, overshadowing my joy but not killing it.  Like Gracie the following year, it took me a long time to come to terms with this loss.  My beloved boss also left work, adding to my grief.  Then another colleague left.  And another.  A lot of change was happening, with or without my approval.

However, I remained happy overall, because outside of these things, my life was awesome.  By the end of the year, I’d changed jobs and found a new adventure to enjoy.  And, I ended up working with three of my former colleagues, so I sorta broke even in that regard while gaining new acquaintances.  Life had gotten even more awesome.  I didn’t think it could!