TUNA SALAD

2011032441 - c2011 wlc

Explosions bursting in my head
Glows of the halos present to mine eyes
Such a light show, as I plant my ginger
Citrusy scent in a leafy disguise

I am here alone, but I am not alone
The hand that has held me is still ever ready
To catch me when I fall
Keep me upright and steady

I sit here with a friend
Munching crunchy salad greens
Tuna stuck within my teeth
Your image lives within my dreams

And when I wake my dreams are real
The croutons bringing luxury
Soon you'll walk into this room
Still more than just a memory

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LISA'S BRIDGE

2011031421 - C2011 WLC

The flame still burning here in me
Never quite extinguishes
No matter how often I might flee
I'll always find the blemishes

In time the tumors will be gone
I'll only see her having fun
Taps for food upon her plate
Or the glowing rainbow gate

For now, the story goes again:
I've lost another part of me
Sparkling tears where eyes had been
And still I know her soul is free

Now I cry in my love's embrace
And know he sees her in my face
He knows me well, knows what to do
Reassures as if it's new

Things are changing every day
Even when they seem the same
Adopting, living, losing, grief
How often do I write this game?

So I look at an empty cage
Past the point of aimless rage
And listen to the drop of falls
A roaring thunder in these walls

To Lisa: I will always miss you, you hoarding little rat. I hope you meet up with your sisters, and perchance, Gracie and Mercy. You and Gracie might have liked each other a good bit. You certainly shared a lot of food interests. I hope you know that I tried to time this for you, and meant only the best for you. Doesn't mean I didn't want you around longer, though. Quite to the contrary…

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VROOM!

2011050301 - C2011 WLC

Vroom, VROOM!! goes the little car

Even when it isn't

Driven very far

Striking blue colour catches rain drops

As the newbies drives

Not as bad as she'd thought

Vroom, VROOM!! goes the little car

Twitchy is his name

Flies when driven hard

Striking blue colour catching the light

As the newbie drives

Quickly out of sight

Vroom, VROOM!! Twitchy growls

Echoes in the distance

Like a carefree owl

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SIMPLE FORMULA

2011050601 - C2011 WLC

Have you ever tried to talk

To someone ’til you’re blue in the face?

Have you ever tried to write

And had it all go to waste?

Have you ever tried to be logical

And the other perceives it wrong?

Or have you ever tried to give it up

And have it come on in song?

Have you had to come home from work early

Because one more problem’s just too much?

Have you ever wanted so damned bad

To just be understood

To just be listened to

And have it all turned around to someone else?

Have you ever felt like no one cares

Not because they don’t, but because they can’t hear you

Even when you’re screaming at the top of your lungs

With a simple equation

Just a simple formula

Something so logical that it should be simple

And no one seems to understand?

Have you ever felt the frustration of hurting others

Just because they misunderstand

And then you feel to blame

When you’re just trying to take a stand?

Have you been so tired of trying to talk

That you just want to hide under a desk

Avoiding all people

Feeling nothing at all?

Have you wished for telepathy

So no one could lie or exaggerate or misunderstand?

Have you ever listened to music

Bawling your eyes out from sheer frustration

Screaming when the cat cries

And not even feeling better for that?

(Cat sure did look surprised though.)

I am frustrated, I want to hide.

I want to go back to my roots and live behind a monitor.

But I know I’m human and these things happen.

I don’t want to go back to living in a cage.

It isn’t my duty to do so, it’s my duty to live.

I know one day, some people will grow up.

I know one day, I’ll be grown up enough to stop caring if I’m understood.

That day isn’t now.

I know one day, this day will be forgotten.

I know one day, I’ll be out of the gloom

Out of this room

And the blood on this cage will fade with time

The blood from my wings beating against it

A futile attempt to escape a prison

I thought I’d broken out of

Long, long ago.

Maybe it’s that my writing is so out of practice

That no one can read it any more

Or maybe it’s that some people don’t really care

And they only want to see what they want to see.

But it still hurts, when this contagion becomes contagious

And the sickness grows, spreads across the floor

Spreads so fast that no one sees it

Except for me, when I just can’t take any more.

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SHATTERED

42011051131 - c2011 WLC

Several years ago I began to fall

Despite not trusting, and then she came.

She took it all away from me

And he allowed it, just the same.

I swore I’d never love again

So deep was all the hurt and pain;

Stood up tall and grew up more…

Independence was my gain.

Months passed by when you walked in

And smote my heart with just one smile.

I failed to admit it for some time

But inside I knew you’d stay a while.

The while turned to a couple of years

And soon I wore the infinite ring

Of love that’s grounded here on earth

Of love for which we all should sing.

Shattered were my dreams one day

When our family tore apart

Disbelief, anger, pain

But everyone still in my heart.

Then she came.  A gust of wind.

Stagnant child turned to life.

She charmed you with her needs and wants

And slowly stole you from your wife.

Under vows of forever friends

We taught and gave her many things.

I stood in mild disbelief

As she got between our rings.

Yet still I doubted my own thoughts,

Doubted even you were blind.

Realization slowly dawning,

Gripping terror in my mind.

Pushed away such thoughts as those;

Heavy laced within this prose

Is something more than you’d proposed -

Something way beyond my nose

The straw’s been broken.

Now I’m mad.

Doesn’t matter

Who might be bad.

She finally has what she has wanted:

Someone thinks of her.  I’m haunted.

Each and every day since then

I can’t forget the ways she’s flaunted.

And you, with rosy glasses, see

Everything she wants you to.

Despite your willingness to watch

She’ll never say such things to you.

So friends you are, you shall remain

Within her promises of gold,

While I go on and worry still,

Now that her seeds of doubt took hold.

For all I think of are those men

Making promises to those they love

Only to seemingly overnight

Change their minds and shoot the dove.

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MORNING BLESSING

201060351 - c2011 WLC

For Dale on his birthday

The sunlight crept in through the window

Tendrils of warmth wrapped around your face

Gently caressing the one I love

Having already pulled me awake

And your eyes popped open

If only briefly

Your first view of the world

Was me, quite chiefly

All my worries melt away

In this one moment of the day

The moment when the sun breaks through

And casts its loving light on you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TO NEVER UNDERSTAND

2011061701 - c2011 WLC

You crept into my life

You snuck into my heart

I tried to let you in

Though I'd known it from the start

Turned into a

Love hate relationship

And now it's left to die

This thing that never was

Don’t need another lie

You know, I loved you girl

Now we're left here in the end

To never understand

Why you weren't a friend

What about the shopping trip

Or all the time we spent in water

The time we spent together talking

Even with the teeter totter

I thought we could have made it

If only for the fun

But instead you lied to me

The last one said we’re done

Was it all about some theft?

Were you really after him?

Were you attempting to break us up?

Why else would you interject such doubt?

No one can be so self-centered

To undermine everything I do

And then to lie straight to my face

And say you never did anything wrong

I’ve tossed ideas back and forth so many times

MPD?  Screwed up kid?

A dear beloved said it all:

There is no way to understand.

Now I think back on the past

I hate myself for bothering

But even with the horrid points

I don’t regret the mothering

Perhaps one day you’ll wisen up

Learn how lies can only hurt

Remember when you said it was just a game?

It isn’t when you play alone.

You tried to undermine my efforts

And just as the tension lifted some

I thought perhaps we might just make it

If only for the fun

But instead you lied again

These might have been the harshest ones

Now I know we’re done

Turned into a

Never was relationship

And now I’m left with sighs

This thing that never was

Who cares about your lies

I thought I loved you, girl

But now I see you in the end

I’ll never understand, you know

Why you said you were a friend

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HEALING

2011062001 - c2011 wlc

I woke up one morning with darkness

Living in my heart

Exploding like a bad dream

Tearing me apart

She waltzed in and stole a life

I’d only just begun

Intercepting happy thoughts

Replacing them with one

I watched your thoughts as you would try

To see the good in hers

Taking for granted all this freedom

That our love infers

Still I’m in here and she’s out there

Doing whatever she does with hurting

While I try to forgive

And wake up with you each dawning morning

I woke up this morning with gladness

Sunshine living in my heart

Exploding like a fantasy

Taking me apart

My love’s waltzed in, breathing life

I’ve finally just begun

Intercepting sadder thoughts

Replacing them with one

I wouldn’t change your rosy thoughts

I love the way they think of me

I’ve taken for granted all the joy

In the only way you see

Still you’re right here when I’m out there

Doing what I do with thinking

While you go on with living life

I stop myself from nearly sinking

I woke up this morning with the sun

Shining forgiveness into my soul

Shooting my heart into the sky

Like a seed, a tree made whole

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UNFAMILIAR BED

2011062451 - c2011 WLC

I sit here with my laptop

In an unfamiliar bed

Pondering the what ifs

Of what might have been instead

The covers nicely turned

Sheets were freshly washed

This could be something cold and stark

Not loving to the touch

But despite the miles between us

We’ll see each other soon

And if we gaze out at the sky

You and I still share the moon

So I think of you this night

And lay my head upon you

If you’re dreaming you might feel it

Even sense a bit of drool

I sit here with my laptop

In an unfamiliar bed

Looking towards our future

Content excitement fills my head

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SISTER/FRIEND

2011062451 - c2011 WLC

You never know what you might mean

To someone else, just little things

Like the colour of your eyes

And the shape of the iris rings

So many things to commit

To memory, so many thoughts

So little time to speak them all

So many things you may have taught

My eyes are on the verge of sleep

Fingers waver on the keys

This last poem is for you

Now I’m going to catch some Z’s.

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LOGICAL FOOL

2011082541 - c2011 WLC

Sitting in the darkness

A single light to shine on walls

I’d wander ‘round this house

But there aren’t that many halls

Every one would have their doors

And I would pass them all

If only for a second

I thought I’d heard you call

I woke up sweating one nightfall past

When something tugged below the bed

Perchance the cat since you weren’t there

And though I know I’d cleared my head

Nothing to see, a chill ensued

Not a single word was said

I closed my eyes and fell back with sleep

Praying to my God instead

Sometimes I swear I’m just a freak

But then on days I wake up to you

I see the sunlight in your eyes

Melting away the logical fool

I stare at the blinds that make a collage

Of the shed outside with its sky of blue

And often the tears come and I can’t help but wonder

To be so blessed, what on earth did I do?

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ANGRY BIRDS

2011090401 - c2011 WLC

I watch the rain drops dancing on my head

Memories go back to when I’d wanted to be dead

When like a phoenix I had risen from the ashes

Ready to be what I wanted regardless of the asses

Back when all my friends said I should like rap

And all I could think about was Chicago not “back that ass up”

Peter and Richard were my inspiration

Even during all the hazardous times of declaration

When momma told me I should just quit

I fought against her life because I didn’t wanna live it

Anymore, I’d had enough of people looking down on me

I’d had enough of living in destitution and poverty

My momma said when I grew up I could do

What I wanted but when I grew up she controlled me too

And then she left me here all on my own

And I wasn’t strong enough to go

But for the first time I was truly by myself

And for the first time I was free to go through hell

I waded through the waters and got my heartbeat skipping

It got broken, it got shattered, but I was finally living

My life.  Then she was right there begging

All the while telling me how evil I was being

Imperfection’s not so bad when you’re living on your own

After all, I could do whatever I wanted, I was grown

Up, and I wanted to be happy

With what I was and what I was was friggin’ snappy

I got some decent counselling and ‘fore I knew, I knew

Someone really special I could spend my life with, too

I had come to know myself and all my imperfections

I had learned to worry for myself and all my aspirations

Go figure, now I’m here and at times don’t even care

Sometimes I just sit back, and wonder why I’m breathing air

But she came, and she tried to take my thunder

I sat back relaxing, so lost was I in wonder

You stupid bitch, you don’t even understand

What constitutes a friendship, so I took a stand

How surprised you acted when I went and slapped your face

Without any words and without a hand, you got a taste

Of my opinions towards your sorry ass

And I thought that I had won over that sassy lass

In a swirling moment we all found out the truth

And I found out on that day why I had always hated youth

Yet I overcame it all again despite my aching heart

My anger, like a cancer, exploded, but still we’re not apart

Over time I’ve healed again but sometimes it comes right back

To where the floods come and meet where the roads’ll crack

With the rivers rising all around us we sit here in shocked horror

Worlds destroyed beyond belief but people work together

To rebuild all that that has been broken.  I love to watch

The teamwork’s like a crab hanging onto some rich girl’s crotch

Holding onto threads of gold as if it were a privilege

But don’t you understand?  It’s like we’re on the edge

Looking down upon the valleys and diving into pools

Of sparkling waters from Heaven instead of pools of a dog’s drool

We have the means to make it, we have the shield to keep the demons out

We can live it up, eat chowder, while everybody screams and shouts the words out loud

Life sucks and it’s so hard to live, oh my god, how can anybody take it all

Fuck this shit, I’ll kick her ass, and then you and I should go hit the mall

No fucking way, I’d rather sit here drinking tea and being me

I like the silence in my ears when I’m sitting here just learning to be

She may have won some places in my heart but she won’t ever win

Over my hatred because hating her won’t get me anything

‘Cept a bruised ego and a hardened blackened heart

Then we might as well have been discreetly torn apart

Now before my fingers find themselves typing any louder

Let’s go get us some of that finger-lickin' chowder

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Contents

1. -Home
   

2. -About Me
   

3. -Computers
   

4. -Critters
   

5. -Links
   

6. -Media
   

7. -Podcasts (1)
   

8. -Tea
   

9. -Writing