Psychomuse.com

Poetry, 1991-1997

YESTERDAY WAS YESTERDAY

As I sit looking out a window

Staring at a lonely tree

I think I see a face that I know

Staring right back at me

But suddenly I realize

That the face I think I see

Is nothing more than something called

Distant Memories

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today

Got to find a peace of mind, got to get away

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today

Got to get out of this maze, I've got to find a way

If you know a way out

Please don't hesitate

To tell me how to get away

From this awful thing called Hate

For I fear that if I don't

Make such an escape

All the dreams and aspirations

That I have will fade

and...

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today

Got to find a peace of mind, got to get away

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today

Got to get out of this maze, I've got to find a way!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EAVESDROPPINGS

I went out shopping

For clothes one day

Found myself eavesdropping

But my mother said "Hey!

"Don't eavesdrop

On people like that;

You just hop

right onto that BAT!"

So on I hopped

(The bus I mean)

Hardly even shopped,

If you know what I mean!

I bought a skirt

And a body-suit,

And some kind of shirt

With holes to look through!

When I got home

That very same day,

I went out alone

And heard someone say,

"Do you see that?

The girl with the skirt?

She has no hat,

But I love her shirt!"

This pleased me a lot,

And I sure wasn't lost,

For that shirt that I'd bought

Was at a low cost!

So remember this,

The next time you shop,

And stick to your list,

And never eavesdrop!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NO GOING BACK

Tuning out

Is how I've been

Depression is gone

Where to begin?

I could say hi

But I will not

I could say good-bye

But it isn't my thought.

Instead I'd like to say

I'll stay right where I am

Being happy is how I'd like to be

And for this, I'll take a stand

Beware, all of you

Who want to take me back

I will not go, I'll fight you off

Come near me, and I'll attack!

There's something awful out there

And it's waiting for me to return

But I will fight against it

'Cause I've already had my turn!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LEARN TO TRY

Anger and love

Are all around you

Open your eyes

And look around you

Choose between them

Before you die

Learn to see them

And learn to try

Learn to try, learn to try

Open your eyes, break the tie

Learn to try, learn to try

It's so easy to see them

Please don't give up, won't you just try

When you're at home

Or out on the street

When you're at school

Just stand on your feet

'Cause people will know

When you do what you can

And people respect

Those who stand like a man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHEN I LEAVE YOU TONIGHT

Time to write another song

Never knew how to get along

Stop and think; try to get a sense of it all

Stop it right now, stop wanting to stall

I know I shouldn't think

You would be there for me

I know I shouldn't care

When you find your time to flee

But it hurts me to see you

Every time I turn around

And there you are before me

I know it's wrong to be in love with you

Why, oh why, must I be so sincere

When all you do is play your game?

You never fear

When I leave you tonight

It will be the last time

I know it's not the first time

But it surely is the last time

And when I leave you, what will you do?

Will you cry because you love me?

Or because you've lost that power over me?

Will you cry at all?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KILLER DEMON

I don't know what to say

'Cause my thoughts are in my way

Words are forming in my brain

But soon after they will be slain

By some Killer that hurts my mind

I ask it to leave the pain behind

The Killer laughs, and tells me to die

But I say I will not, and he asks me why

I'm silent for a moment, thinking my thoughts

I tell him I plan to see that he rots.

But the Killer, who says he's smarter than I

Says to me, "You'll surely die."

For some reason unknown, I am not afraid

I've got his hand, his cards have been played

He's now more vulnerable than ever before

I've got him trapped in the Earth's inner core

So bye-bye demon, go rot in your Hell

You thought I was yours, but I never fell

I'll refuse you, time after time

I will not commit such a terrible crime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ESSAYS

There is an English teacher that I know

I used to think he was my foe

But now I see he's not so mean

Beneath the act which I have seen

You see, my reader, I am bad

Softly spoken, seldom mad

But once I'm ticked, then you will know

There's just one place that you can go

I know I don't scare you, which I don't intend

This is the warning I'd wanted to send:

"Don't you dare ask me to speak...

'Cause I'm not humble, and I'm not meek!"

I'm sure you know this truth right now,

And if you don't, I don't see how.

But I forgive you, and now I rest;

I know I've done my very best.

I wish you luck in the coming school year,

And plenty of joy, and plenty of cheer.

I hate you no more, so my essay is done,

And I must admit that I thought it was fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TABLE RESERVATIONS

Someone comes to the table I'm sitting at

And tells me it's reserved for someone else.

Then I asked why she thought it was,

Since I sit here or at the table next to me.

"It's reserved, for the four of us,"

She answers me.

"But I usually sit here,"

I told her, quietly.

Finally, this seemingly polite person

Agreed with her friends to leave.

After they had left me though,

I was just about to grieve.

"Why is a table so damned important?"

I was asking myself, now caught in a gloomy day.

Even though I told the truth,

Why did it matter, anyway?

Yet, I hate to feel pushed around,

So the evil in me remains on the defensive side.

And if I'm pushed 'til I'm teetering on the edge,

I'll be damned if I haven't tried.

If you try to break my spirit

(It doesn't matter how low you go),

The horse will kick, the cat will scratch,

And the snake will bite 'til you let go,

Unless you kill me first.

I feel it so little to ask

That I be left alone.

But even this I cannot have,

For some reason to me unknown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE

Language comes from nowhere

I am alone no more

Until a storm inside my head

Decides to close the door.

Confusion results

Because of this storm.

I'm against fitting in

To Society's norm.

But a Voice

-And a great Voice at that-

Tells me to think

And not to react.

So when something upsets

The balance inside me,

I will not feel trapped

'Cause I know that I'm free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FLAT ON MY BACK

No inspiration

Comes into my head.

Thoughts are all blank;

Perhaps they are dead.

Flat on my back

I stare at the sky.

Laughing behind me--

I don't wonder why.

That morning was gray;

That morning was bad.

Awful's the word

For the day that I had!

It all started out

With a buzz in my ear.

My clock had gone off--

Too late, I must fear!

I managed to eat

A hasty breakfast.

I ran out the door

Almost missing the bus!

Then I arrived

At Yourtown High School.

I walked very fast;

I pushed my way through!

As I got closer

To the stairs of concrete

I tried to go up,

But out went my feet!

For how little I knew--

There was ice up ahead!

And before I could stop it,

The ice was my bed!

So, flat on my back,

I stared at the sky...

Anger arose

At the laughter behind!

I angrily rose

And tried once again.

I held on to the rail

And tried to go in.

But, alas, all that work

Was for nothing; I was shocked!

That stupid door knob

Was nothing but LOCKED!!

I slipped my way down

But held onto my ground.

I heard them all laughing--

I would not turn around!

But now that it's over,

And my embarrassment subsided,

I laugh at myself--

'Cause that I've decided!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THOUGHTS INTO IMAGES

Thoughts into Image,

Image into Thought;

Feelings into Words,

Words that are caught;

Unspeakable knowledge

Of the Future to come;

Having the Memories

Of Events that are done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are all grouped together because I lost most of my poetry during this timeframe. I found some of it on bits of paper, etc, with vague dates such as “c 1991” hence the date code being incomplete.

There is a marked element of youth in these.

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